Where are you from?
I’d tell you but I’d make a mistake – my country has changed names twice since I was born!
Why are you here?
Vlad: Everyone says the West is great… turns out, it’s just like back home.
Are you and your dirty immigrant friends planning to stay?
Vlad: No! Don’t worry, Albania is way better.
How have you contributed to the society while being here?
Vlad: By doing the work you don’t want to because you’re lazy.
What do you think of our prime minister?
Vlad: He’s a top cunt!
If you want the longer version of these answers, come to the show or ask for my number from the Home Office.
Alternatively, you can contact Priti Patel.
As seen on BBC Three's Stand up for Live Comedy
Next Up's Live or Die Finalist (on going)
One to Watch by Up the Creek Comedy Club
King of the Gong at the Comedy Store
Comic of the Year at Stand Up Club Piccaddily
Max Turner Prize at Comedy Virgins